For many, the holiday season brings forth a sense of joy—a time to reconnect with loved ones, enjoy festive meals, and create cherished memories.
 

However, the reality is a bit different for families with children who experience selective mutism (SM). For them, the holidays can be challenging.
 

How Can Holidays Pose a Threat to Children with SM?


Children with SM often feel at ease in familiar settings with people they trust. But the holiday season introduces new environments, unfamiliar faces, and heightened expectations. These factors can overwhelm a child, leading to increased anxiety and withdrawal.
 

Children with SM communicate freely at home but become silent and reserved during a festive family gathering. The anxiety of speaking in social settings outside their comfort zone becomes a big hurdle. Recognizing these challenges is the first step in providing the support they need during the holidays.
 

Below are some helpful strategies rooted in understanding, empathy, and gradual progress:
 

1. Starting with a Plan
 

The key to reducing holiday stress for children with SM is preparation- taking time before the holiday festivities to plan the day's activities and identify potential challenges. For instance:
 

• Packing a 'comfort kit' with the child's favorite toys, snacks, or sensory tools.
• Parents can try explaining selective mutism and its symptoms to family members. They must not ask any complicated questions as that can lead to disappointment. For instance, beginning with a simple "Hello" works better than "Which school are you in?"  
• Scheduling breaks during the gathering so that the child has enough time to decompress if needed.

2. Setting Up Realistic Expectations
 

Holidays often bring high hopes and lofty goals: ‘My child will chat with everyone at dinner," or "My student will join the group games this year.’ While these aspirations come from a place of love, it is necessary to understand the child's feelings. Setting achievable goals reduces stress for the child and helps them feel successful.
 

Instead of expecting the child to answer questions from relatives, the focus should be on smaller goals. They might sit beside a cousin during a meal or participate in a group activity without speaking. Gradually, these small steps build confidence and comfort.
 

By starting small, parents and teachers can celebrate each step of progress, no matter how minor it seems.
 

3. Creating a Warm-Up Routine
 

To comfort children with selective mutism, one must allow them time to adjust to new environments. When arriving at a relative's home or holiday venue, the child should have time to settle down before joining the crowd. Spending some time in a quieter space to let them get comfortable can be helpful.
 

For example, parents can arrive early and let the child explore the new environment at their own pace. Starting with a familiar activity, like coloring or playing with a favorite toy, can help them fit into the setting.
 

4. Praising Progress, Big or Small
 

Constant praise and appreciation go a long way in managing selective mutism. Acknowledging and celebrating their brave moments, no matter how small they seem, can be like:
 

• If the child whispers a response to the parent while sitting near a relative, the parent can say, "I am so proud of you for telling me that. You are doing a great job!"
• When students with SM willingly join a group but prefer not to speak, teachers can express enthusiasm: "It is so wonderful to see you playing with everyone!"

Appreciating effort, rather than outcomes, helps build a child's confidence and encourages them to keep trying.
 

5. Acknowledging Their Feelings
 

By now, it is clear that holidays can be emotionally intense for children with SM. Some may express their discomfort through tears, clinging, or withdrawing. Acknowledging their feelings can comfort them and help them feel understood and valued.
 

For instance, parents and teachers can reassure them by saying, ‘ I know this is hard for you, but I am here to help. You are so brave for being here with everyone.’ Notice how this simple acknowledgment can erase a child's anxiety and help them feel safe.
 

6. Building Social Momentum
 

Once the child feels comfortable in the setting, gently encouraging gradual interaction can follow. Engaging the child in activities like drawing, playing with toys, or creating holiday decorations and then involving others in the activity creates natural opportunities for social interaction.
 

This approach helps maintain focus on the activity rather than stressing direct communication.
 

Bottom Line
 

Avoid dreading holidays. Instead, embrace holidays wholeheartedly as a time for growth and connection. Progress may be gradual, but every brave moment matters. With adequate preparation and pursuing special education courses for teachers, you can create holiday memories that empower children with selective mutism.

Written By : Varsha