Parenting in itself is a hard nut to crack, no matter what parents do there is always a feeling of something missing and so to speak, there is no such thing about perfect parenting. But if we are to raise children, what should the parenting philosophy be!
Does it need to follow the scripted style of parenting, or is it just something that comes along the way?
The truth is if we are to sit for a debate, parenting perspective and our beliefs on how to raise a child will always be different from each other. Nevertheless, when we can shift our thought process from what we want to what kids need – we will open a door of possibility to embrace conscious parenting.
What is conscious parenting!
A concept that allows one to lean towards self-awareness and mindfulness, as the brain thrives on connection and empathy, Conscious parenting helps us to engage and connect with our children by using emotionally intelligent discipline choices rather than rigid methods of how we were raised and what we have seen so far.
Shefali Tsabary in her book The Conscious Parent: Transforming Ourselves, Empowering Our Children says “The more we hone this ability to meet life in a neutral state, without attributing “goodness” or “badness” to what we are encountering, but simply accepting it’s as-is-ness, the less our need to interpret every dynamic as if it were about us. Our children can then have their tantrums without triggering us, and we can correct their behavior without dumping on them our own residual resentment, guilt, fear, or distrust.”
Simply to put, conscious parenting asks us to move from fixing our children to viewing children as independent beings. Innately, there is nothing wrong with a child, it is more about how parents can look inside of themselves and bring awareness towards supporting the children, where they can blossom with their truest and authentic self.
HOW TO INTEGRATE CONSCIOUS PARENTING IN YOUR DAILY LIFE?
Take one day at a time
Becoming mindful of our own behaviors, being able to check our emotions, and how we progress does not have to be a straight upward road. Truth is, it requires parents to “heal”. And healing is a non-linear journey. Walking the path of self-development is an ongoing process. Our job as parents is to come from a place of patients rather than from our own unconscious source of traumas and triggers.
If you are reading this blog, you are probably the one who is willing to develop such awareness within. Take one day at a time. Recognize and be self-aware in how you deal with other people who are surrounding you including your children. And if you have already said yes to the process you will find ways to integrate conscious parenting just give yourself the time.
Let go of the “Fixing” your child
As we spoke earlier that children are just okay as they are. There is truly nothing in them to fix. When we grow up, we watch our adults and our surroundings and we acquire and observe certain behaviors. And of course, our personalities play a big role in shaping who we become. As parents, oftentimes it becomes harder to detach from expectations of how we want our children to be.
However, conscious parenting is more about letting children be as they are and only supporting where they need our help. Trusting becomes a huge concept in letting children grow to their fullest authentic selves. Instead of forcing behaviors of children, we parents can focus on their needs to help them self-regulate.
Focus on relationship
Your relationship with your child reflects the dynamics you are aspiring to hold for your children. Instead of trying to do everything right, hold a loving space for them, where they can grow with a sense of safety and freedom. Bear in mind when we talk about safety, we talk about emotional safety too. Children feel more motivated and driven to share their life when parents are predictable and becomes their emotional support.
Your Takeaway
Every single day is a new beginning when we see it that way. New parents or old, being able to recognize and embrace mindfulness in our parenting is also a part of our own journey, and this is an integral part too. Parenting is not just about doing things right or making a child happy 100% of the time.
Diploma in Childhood Care and Education can be the starting f your parenting journey to being the parenting life from a positive perspective. All children will eventually grow and develop through struggles. As parent’s our responsibility is to let go of our ego beliefs that can essentially come in the way of our child’s growth! Accepting where we are at in our personal journey and being open to new experiences can lead us towards living a life full of expansion.
Written By : Roshni Chatterjee
